About Nicola
Ko Achilty te Maunga
ko Achonachie te Moana
ko Mooltan te Waka
ko McLay te Iwi
ko Nicola taku ingoa.
I am a white lesbian transwoman (“transbian”) of Scottish, Welsh and English descent. My ancestors settled in Aotearoa New Zealand in the 1800s. I am autistic and have ADHD. As a child, especially ages 6-8, my autism made me a bully magnet.
I grew up in a Pentecostal Pastor’s home. My parents were gentle and kind (though Dad was very reserved). However they and our Church held beliefs around gender which left me feeling fundamentally flawed inside and led to profound self-rejection and self-hatred. This, more than the bullying, traumatized me deeply and it took me until I was 54 for even the possibility of being trans to be a thinkable thought. It took another six years to make peace with being trans and another five to come out publicly. Yet I remain deeply spiritual. I am an Anglican Parish Priest in Tamaki Makaurau (Auckland) where I am Vicar to a multi-cultural Anglican (Episcopalian) congregation and also help lead an LGBTQIA+ congregation.
So I understand how confusing and difficult the human journey can be. And I understand "intersectionality" (belonging to more than one marginalized group).
I have a background in Aged Care (Dementia and Palliative). My undergraduate degree is in theology majoring in Spirituality. I later completed a Grad Dip in Practical (Pastoral) Theology and a Post Grad Dip in Disability and Mental Health. On weekdays, when not coaching, I support people with experience of mental disability.
Whether you are an LGBTQI++ person looking for dating and relationship support, a trans or gender exploring person looking for support on your journey, or are a partner, family member, employer, clinician, or friend supporting someone else, I would be privileged to companion you on your journey.
Nicola Sian Frater (she/them)